Life Evaluation
by MissDanniBrown
Summary: They say before you die, your whole entire life flashes before your eyes...


**Hi guys, this is my new story that I've been writing for about 3 weeks on and off. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it isnt too morbid. I tried to set myself a task whilst writing this one, to show that you should always value your options before making a decision, no matter what decision needs to be made. :)**

**As always, I'd love to hear your feedback, whether it be on here as a Review, or by tweeting me MissDanniBrown. Thanks guys! :) x**

Each face in front of me became distant, a blur. I could no longer make out individual facial features or the words that spilled from their lips. It felt as if the world was spinning and I was the only thing left stationary. As I glanced at the car to my left, to the driver in the front seat waiting for me to make a decision, my heart began pounding against my chest as if trying to seek release. Beads of sweat trickled down my forehead as my breathing became erratic, making each simple breath sound like a struggle. "Katie?" she asked. "Would you like a ride?"

The rain pounded on the roof of the car as it glided across the slick wet streets. The moon glowed dimly in the night while thin gray clouds sought to take the light away. Sitting in the front seat of the car I gazed out the window, my eyes focusing on a single raindrop that held on for dear life as the speed of the car accelerated. Hesitantly, I turned my head to the left, peering at the speedometer once again. 90 mph I thought. 91 mph… 92. As the car speed faster, the wheels glided effortlessly, almost floating on the concrete pavement. With each increased speed of the car I began to feel less comfort, less security on where I was, who I was with. I took in a much needed deep breath as I quickly refocused my attention out the window.

My already tense hand tightened on the door handle turning my knuckles white. I couldn't make out any object, any shape as we continued driving. The trees became an enormous green blur making it appear as if they were one single object stretching on forever. As I breathed in quick and short rasps of air, I attempted to ogle the speedometer, but was suddenly stopped when I noticed a small boy backing up into the street. "Watch out!" I screamed. My voice became frantic, scared and I grasped the side of the car so tightly that I swore I saw blood. I didn't hear my friend scream. I didn't hear the awful sound screeching tires make while burning rubber or the cry of the young boy's voice. No. I didn't hear or feel or move as I saw the deep black oak tree mere inches away from my face, from my life.

They say before you die your life flashes before your eyes, like a montage at the end of a movie. They say you feel no pain or fear, just peace; but I saw nor felt either. I didn't see my life before my eyes or the beautiful bright lights of the sun casting over my all too vivid memories. Nor did I see or feel the years I spent happy, justified and just plain content with my life, with the things I had accomplished. No. I saw my families' lives under the black darkness behind my lids. Creeping, crawling the memories came forth feeling through my lashes, wanting to be seen by all others. They screamed their way out, screamed for release and screamed to be heard, to be recognized. Then, all too soon as if it had never happened they subsided. Calmed, stopped, ceased. Gone. Then, the flashes came.

I saw weddings, births, laughter, tears, pain and sorrow before me. As I looked I wondered what vital piece was missing to this life, to this happily ever after that should have been, and when I spotted my mother, hidden under a blooming birch tree that shaded her from the rest of the world, I saw pain plastered across her dark face. It burnt into her soul and hammered its way deep; severing her only true known happiness that was her heart .I saw death forever engraved in the solid orbs that were her eyes, melting into them like liquid diamond. It was glorious and shameful, precious and insignificant, peculiar and ordinary all at once.

I stared at her, dazed by this world that seemed all too familiar yet not familiar enough, and as she glanced up at me, I saw myself, but it wasn't truly me. I was somewhat different, darker. My skin a clear pale colour, almost translucent stuck out the most. Among the rest was the tattered mess of my auburn hair and the scraps of cloth you called clothes. My eyes were empty, lifeless. The deep brown was fixated on nothing yet everything at the same time. I was dead. I saw a small teardrop escape my mother's eyes. It hovered over her lid before slipping away and rolling down her swollen cheeks. Gently, slowly it fell, slipped away and then it was gone. Just like me.

The vision faded and swirled together creating new scene. It was bright, happy, lively. I saw children, heard laughter, felt love embedded in the atmosphere, and then, I saw my mother. Unlike the first vision she was happy, alive. She bore a huge smile as she covered her mouth in silent laughter. As I looked to the right I saw myself. I saw life. I saw happiness.

They say before you die your life flashes right before your eyes, but I didn't see my life. I saw choices, consequences and the pain that comes with it. I didn't want to be the cause of that pain; I couldn't be the cause of that pain. I remembered her eyes, filled with anger and blame for the torture I had put her though and the fact that there was nothing she could do about it. No way to fix the wrongs that had shattered her heart that one day I decided to make a stupid mistake, a stupid decision that consequently ended both our lives. I saw in her eyes that she resented me and hated herself for doing so, but nonetheless, she meant it. She resented the choices I made and nothing would ever change that. Nothing could change that. One simple word, one simple step stood in the way of life and death, a glorious life or one that could only ever end in tragedy. No I didn't see my life before my eyes; I saw a broken heart, a broken family. I saw two paths to a life I could have had and then, as I saw that oak tree mere inches from my face, I saw no more. Blackness, darkness, gone…

"Katie?" she asked, sending me out of my momentary trance. "Would you like a ride?" I shook my head mechanically back and forth. The vision faded and disappeared. "No," I replied, confidence evident in my voice. "No that's okay. I'll just call my parents and have _them_ pick me up." As I watched the car speed away, I smiled. I smiled and I was happy.

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